الجمعة، 4 ديسمبر 2015

Barcelona Mad Tales, Volume 1: Real Madrid Ban, Barça Transfer Rumor

How ridiculous is football? Pretty ridiculous. Here's a fun little game.

Hey, have you ever played Mad Libs? This is like that. It's pretty simple. I'll give you a category of a few words or phrases first. Then, read the story and substitute the parts that are in [brackets] with whatever you filled out before.The fun never stops!*

Here's an example. Give me a noun. Let's say you picked cheese. Then it will say: I like [noun]. You write in, "I like cheese." Simple, right?

*The fun eventually stops

Real Madrid's Newest Crisis

Real Madrid were expelled from the Copa del Rey in ridiculous fashion. We imagine what will happen next.

Sporting Competition Name:

Real Madrid Player:

Punishment Befitting of Shoplifting, Ending in -Ed:

Place you'd put a Piano:

Length of Time:

Describe the Lamest Excuse You've Used to Get Out of a Test, Start with a Verb Ending in -ing:

Outdated Mode of Communication:

Worst Insult You Can Think Of:

Real Madrid Coach, Assistant, or Official:

Thing RM is Known for Buying:

Historical Dictator:

***

Real Madrid have been embroiled in a fresh crisis that puts their [sporting competition name] in doubt. Believe it or not, the club forgot [Real Madrid player] was actually meant to be [punishment befitting of shoplifting ending in -ed] in a [place you`d put a piano] for the next [length of time].

Speaking to reporters, Emilio Butragueno said the club should not be sanctioned as they were [describe the lamest excuse you've used to get out of a test, start with a verb ending in -ing]. It turns out the club was warned via [outdated mode of communication], but they never check the darn thing these days.

The Real Madrid fans were not happy. They voiced their displeasure on social media, calling [Real Madrid player] a "[worst insult you can think of]" and saying [Real Madrid coach, assistant, or official] was a "fat [worst insult you can think of]."

Florentino Perez called a press conference, in which he gave his vote of confidence to [Real Madrid coach, assistant, or official]. "We are sure to buy more [thing RM is known for buying], that`ll fix things," Perez said. In response, Madridistas have called Perez "worse than [historical dictator]."

Barcelona Transfer Rumor for Winter 2015

It's the silly season fast approaching and Barcelona are actually un-banned! You know what that means...! More unfounded rumors!

Any Random Player who Does not Play for Barcelona:

Team He Plays For:

Number Between 10 and 100:

Number Between 1 and 9:

Your Favorite Barcelona Player

European Adjectival - i.e. Catalan or English:

Synonym for "Zero":

***

FC Barcelona may be adding a new talent to their ranks. It seems like [any random player who does not play for Barcelona] may be on his way to the Catalan giants. [Team he plays for] would be willing to sell for the price of [number between 10 and 100] million euro. However, Barcelona will only offer [number between 1 and 9] million, substantially less than [team he plays for] will accept.

Speaking to reporters, Barcelona Sporting Director Roberto simply said "we are looking at many options. [Any random player who does not play for Barcelona] is an interesting option." Luis Enrique then added "I want more players. This board, man." The club`s president, Josep Maria Bartomeu, is said to have offered to sell [your favorite Barcelona player] to fund the move. Of course we all know, this is all BS made up by some [European adjectival - i.e. Catalan or English] paper and the chances of this ACTUALLY happening are [synonym for "zero"].



from Barca Blaugranes - All Posts http://ift.tt/1Tpw4qQ

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